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Bizarre Toilet Signs

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 10:12:57 +0000

Middle Class Problems

Mon, 02 Aug 2010 09:10:09 +0000

Not real problems middle class problems.

-The magnum won’t fit in the fridge.

-There is no ‘bagel setting’ on the toaster. The horror.

-I canNOT make spicy oil nearly as spicy as the one we had on holiday in Sicily

Think I’ve overdosed on sushi.

I broke a newly manicured nail whilst opening a specialist herbal tea bag earlier in the week.

Today the water cooler was out of order so I had to get water from the tap. The tap!

The shop was closed so I couldn’t get a key cut for my new cleaner at lunch

I had too many pistachios and now I’m not hungry enough for lunch

My new dishwasher wasn’t delivered AGAIN today. I had to try and wash dishes myself. Like I’m some kind of machine

we’re running out of latte milk T-Discs for the Tassimo, it’ll have to be an Espresso instead

at the soirée our friend Celine got a stiletto heel stuck between the decking

DILEMMA : I need to go get ready to go out later, but Celebrity Masterchef is on.

I ran out of sun-dried tomatoes for a dish I was making last night and has to settle for semi-dried tomatoes instead.

Crumbling some Maldon salt into my salad, I have cut my thumb on a particularly sharp shard. It’s quite sore.

Many thanks to twitter #middleclassproblems

Birthing Pool Disaster (Twitter)

Sat, 12 Jun 2010 23:08:08 +0000

2.56 am
Contractions have started. Right lets get the birthing pool up and running

3.07 am
The meditation music is on and wifey is calm and doing her breathing exercises.

5.14am
Everything was fine until the dog jumped in the birthing pool.Now it has a leak in it. There is water all over the living room floor.

5.49 am
I am in my speedos struggling with a puncture repair kit. Wifey is being quiet. But giving me dagger looks. ITS NOT MY FAULT.

7.30am
Its still leaking. The hippy meditation music isn’t calming.

Its annoying. I want to go out and strangle a dolphin.

7.50 am
Sod this. We’re off to the hospital.

9.17 am
False alarm. Been told to go back home.

Geri Halliwell (Spice Girls) spoof blog

Wed, 02 Jun 2010 12:04:46 +0000

My friend George pops round for tea. (I call him George you probably know him as George Michael.). He crashes the car into a statue by the gate house and falls asleep. Poor Sleepy he obviously needs the rest. He works SO hard.

Today I am wearing a bandana. My look is inspired by Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Caribbean.

My daughter says “You are so pretty mummy”. But I am not really. After all I was only number 27 in GQ’s “Sexiest women in the world” 1998.

the ginger diva blog

Slap Chop Rap

Sun, 03 Jan 2010 20:00:08 +0000

The Drunkest Guy Ever?

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 16:05:54 +0000

Tortoise Sex Face

Fri, 24 Jul 2009 16:52:12 +0000

A tortoise doing some serious shell humping.

The Sex Lives of Animals

Fat Men Dancing

Tue, 14 Jul 2009 17:46:59 +0000

We know its wrong but ……

Fat Guys Dancing